Julian Hollis

Which pattern is running your relationship?

Every book decodes one pattern, for the person living it, and the person trying to love them through it.

Different questions. Different depth. The same aim.

The Attachment Series goes deep into the science, psychology and lived experience of attachment while making complex ideas understandable. The Relationship Series starts with the questions people ask in everyday life and turns the research into clear explanations and practical tools. The Attachment in Relationships Series sits between them, applying attachment to the problems people actually bring to a relationship.

Understand the complexity. Explain it clearly. Make it useful.

What early readers say →

The Attachment Series. Deepest. Deep understanding. Evidence-built accounts of the attachment styles. Each pattern is explored from the inside, with the research on how it forms and what helps it change. Science · psychology · lived experience. Attachment in Relationships. Bridge. Applied to real relationship problems. Guides to the problems people actually bring to a relationship, read through attachment and seen from both sides. The bridge between theory and real life. The Relationship Series. Everyday. Everyday questions, practical help. Modern dating and relationships, one problem at a time. Starts with the questions people ask in everyday life and turns the research into clear explanations and practical tools. Clear explanations · practical tools. Same aim across every series: Understand the complexity. Explain it clearly. Make it useful.
The Attachment Series. Deepest. Deep understanding. Evidence-built accounts of the attachment styles. Each pattern is explored from the inside, with the research on how it forms and what helps it change. Science · psychology · lived experience. Attachment in Relationships. Bridge. Applied to real relationship problems. Guides to the problems people actually bring to a relationship, read through attachment and seen from both sides. The bridge between theory and real life. The Relationship Series. Everyday. Everyday questions, practical help. Modern dating and relationships, one problem at a time. Starts with the questions people ask in everyday life and turns the research into clear explanations and practical tools. Clear explanations · practical tools. Same aim across every series: Understand the complexity. Explain it clearly. Make it useful.

The Attachment Series

Books on attachment styles and how they shape love

One pattern per book, mapped from its origins all the way to earned security, for the person who carries it and the partner who loves them. Fearful-avoidant, dismissive-avoidant, anxious and secure attachment are all out now.

The Fearful Avoidant by Julian Hollis, book cover

Out now

The Fearful Avoidant

The Science of Fearful Avoidant and Disorganized Attachment — Why You Crave Closeness, Push It Away, and How to Heal, Whether It's Your Pattern or Your Partner's

Wanting closeness and fearing it in the same breath can look irrational from the outside and feel impossible from the inside. This full-length guide maps the whole of the push-pull pattern: where it begins, how it shapes intimacy and conflict, what it costs both partners, and what meaningful change requires.

More than a fearful avoidant workbook: twenty visual maps, a Decoder at the end of every chapter, a six-domain Profile, three Letters That Were Never Sent and 122 real questions answered.

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The Dismissive Avoidant by Julian Hollis, book cover

Out now

The Dismissive Avoidant

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style — Why Closeness Feels Like Losing Yourself, Why You Pull Away, and How to Let Someone In, Whether It's Your Pattern or Your Partner's

A standalone guide to dismissive avoidant attachment, for the person who needs distance and the partner who feels shut out.

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The Anxious Attached by Julian Hollis, book cover

Out now

The Anxious Attached

Anxious Attachment Style — Why You Overthink Every Text, Fear Being Left, and Love So Hard — and How to Feel Secure, Whether It's Your Pattern or Your Partner's

A standalone guide to anxious attachment, for the person who feels closeness deeply and quickly, and the partner who wants to understand the reaching.

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The Secure Attached by Julian Hollis, book cover

Out now

The Secure Attached

Secure Attachment Style — What Healthy Love Actually Looks Like, How Secure Connection Feels, and How to Build Secure Relationships

A secure relationship guide to what secure love actually looks like from the inside: the destination the other books point toward.

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Further Attachment Series titles are in preparation.

The Relationship Series

Books on dating and modern love

The problems you can name before you can name the pattern: mixed signals, undefined relationships, commitment doubt, the conversation you keep postponing. Each book pairs the psychology with assessments and word-for-word scripts for the conversations that decide things.

What Makes a Relationship Successful by Julian Hollis, book cover

New · Out now

What Makes a Relationship Successful

How Secure Relationships Are Built and What Attachment Theory Reveals About Lasting Love

Most relationship advice tells you what good love should look like from the outside. This book asks a more useful question: what is happening between you — and what actually helps? Trust, communication, conflict, fairness, closeness, repair and attachment, answered one question at a time, in plain language.

The broad relationship-success flagship of the series, with practical things to try in every chapter. See what the book covers →

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Why Won’t They Commit? by Julian Hollis, book cover

Out now

Why Won’t They Commit?

Ambiguous Relationships: You Act Like a Couple but Still Have No Label. The Exact Words to Get Clarity, Commit, or Walk Away

You act like a couple. You just can't say the word. The complete guide to undefined relationships: the psychology of why you're stuck, the instruments to find out where you stand, and the exact words to get clarity — whatever the answer turns out to be.

Five profiles, full-page assessments, ten script sections and a decision system for the relationship that has no name. Read the first chapter →

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Also on Amazon in the UK · US · Canada · Australia

Further Relationship Series titles are in preparation.

Not sure where to start?

Start with the pattern you recognise, or the problem you can name before the pattern has a name. Wanting closeness and fearing it: The Fearful Avoidant. Needing distance, or loving someone who pulls away: The Dismissive Avoidant. Overthinking and fearing being left: The Anxious Attached. An undefined relationship: the situationship book.

Find your pattern in two minutes Which book do I need?